I chose me…..

When I walked away I knew exactly what I was leaving behind and the freedom I was gaining….

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When I Knew……

I knew it was over when dread found its way in my chest slinked and tightened around my waist and crawled down my spine; my body stiffening at the sight of you crossing the threshold.

I knew it was over when my mind began rehearsing the fake smiles of welcome at the sight of your face.

I knew it was over when relief swelled within me when you left and the anxiety would build at the thought of your return.

I knew it was over when your mood swings brought back a familiar feeling of pain as a girl having to walk on eggshells.

And that’s when you had fully became the him of my past and I knew I could never stay and entertain the living dead that resided in you.

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The Wind Doesn’t Change……

Written by: Jon T.Conklin & Evy Sutton

I’m living in a house full of
People, yet I feel alone.

Invisible, I am a man unto myself
carrying torturing thoughts. I retreat within to find the other half of me, the part lost.

My mind won’t stop; it’s in 5th gear as my thoughts won’t stop; they’re in 7th Gear and my body falls behind my fractured mind.

I dwell in the past obsessing over the things I can’t change; suffering in between, stuck in limbo seeking knocking and screaming change to dead ears who choose not to hear the cries of the lonely part of me.

As I silently beg to find my former self sometimes I think it’s not meant to be like a bad idea and no redo’s—- the only thing I have is this cracked soul that must move in.

I’m here I’ve made it this far maybe just maybe I’ll manage to do more than just survive.

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There’s nothing to miss….

I never thought you would murder me.
Stab me to death with hurtful words
and watch me bleed out then blame me
for the slaughter.

Why do you assume I’ll miss you
when you’re gone? I’m the one that
cut you away.

I washed you from my skin, let that
part of me slip away down the drain. And she will never find me again.

You never miss what was killing
and smothering you to death.

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Thoughts of a broken soul……..

I always draw the hurting to me. I become their healer and soon they become my past.

On sure days I am confident and whole without the need for affection from the lips of men who only admire the giving part of me, the healing part of me.

On days that aren’t filled with melodies of peaceful tunes I question if anyone is capable of loving me.

On sad days I question my sanity and if I truly delight in painful things.

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Even Titans Fall

Written by: Jon T.Conklin

Sometimes even brick-and-mortar crumble.

Even the strongest sometimes stumble.

Sometimes even Titans fall down. sometimes even Titans fall down.

Sometimes walls are too tall to climb.

Some days are just as tough.

Sometimes we catch ourselves and sometimes it’s just a loss.

Sometimes even Titans fall down
sometimes even Titans fall down.

Some days you have no words and you’re the only one that understands. And sometimes on your feet is where you land.

Sometimes even Titans fall down sometimes even Titans fall down

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